With the Tour de France due to start this weekend I thought it only fitting to review the ABC's of cycling so all those interested pedestrians can have a glimpse into our "wonderful wacky world" Thanks to http://www.bikesource.com/
auger v. to involuntarily take samples of the local geology, usually with one's face, during a crash. My Dentist is loving this one and I thought Rugby was hard. beartrap 1) v. to slip off one pedal, causing the other pedal to slam one in the shin, when one gets cracked with a pedal. I did this once in a spinning class when my cleats sheared. I think they heard the scream 50 miles away. crotch-testing n. sudden impact between a male rider's private parts and something very hard and pointy, such as a handlebar stem or seat. Aspirations of a Soprano come to mind, and I don't mean the ones that live in New Jersey death march n. a ride that turns into an investigation of your endurance limit. "The bridge was out, and I had to go all the way back the way I came. So the morning's nice, easy ride turned into a Bataan death march." On the last 100 mile ride I completed I had serious cramping in my quads 30 miles from the finish and i must have utilized every four letter word in the dictionary enscarfment n. a food break at the edge of a cliff. A good cause for indigestion feeling nedly v., adj. when older riders are having a particular strong outing I love this ONE!!!!!! granny gear n. the lowest gear available on a bike, or a third and smallest front cog, which is only found on bikes for the feeble. Roadies don't have, need, or want them. Don't have this one hanging on v. riding in the slipstream of another rider, but being lazy and refusing to take your turn in at the front. Guilty as charged, though getting better impedimentia n. all the junk on a bike that impedes performance and looks bad. No BlingBling!!! JRA n. abbreviation for the Just Riding Along syndrome an area where ones average can bot be disputed kicker n. a steep section of road or trail. LBS n. abbreviation for "Local Bike Shop". male blindness n. when a male rider watches a beautiful female ride over rough terrain and stares intensely, making him too dizzy to see straight when it's his turn to ride the same terrain. Dave, Kenny & Phil don't fit the bill nirvana n. the state of being in absolute control and totally in tune with your bike, the trail, and your physical strength. "I was just doing it all so smoothly and delicately and quickly, it was nirvana!" Synonym for The Zone. Have been there and the other end of the spectrum the Death March off the back adj. when a rider is dropped, or cannot keep up with the pace of the windshield (such as a peloton or another rider) and falls behind. The hardest part of getting back in the saddle again push-push 1) n. a novice's pedaling motion, consisting of alternately pushing each foot down, instead of spinning. quick-release n. bolts with levers attached, for easy adjustment and removal of wheels and seat height Unlike the first time I wore cleats with my obligatory slow release followed by asphalt introduction RDS n. abbreviation for Rapid Deceleration Syndrome. Military term for the very sudden illness that happens when the free-flight following a high-speed involuntary dismount is interrupted by something solid. I realized quite early that the tools used by lumberjacks are more sophisticated than flailing arms. snake bite n. a double puncture of an inner tube, caused by hitting an obstacle too hard or by under-inflation of tires Or welcome to Texas roads tea party n. when a whole group of riders stops and chats, and nobody seems to want to ride on. Unfortunately these groups have journeyed out of Boston unobtanium adj. describing a bike or accessory made from expensive, high-tech material. A play on "unobtainable" and "titanium." My brother Phil is very good at this vernacular velo-porn n. full-page, four-color advertisements of giblets in cycling magazines. It can arouse giblet lust, giblet envy, and in serious cases, feelings of bike inadequacy. "Peter skipped right over the race results and went straight for the velo-porn." Have to have one under the pillow!!! wild pigs n. poorly adjusted brake pads that squeal in use. X -Ray See RDS Above Yard ....Of Ale Normally consumed after X- Ray Zone, the n. a state of mind experienced while riding. You don't think, you just do. A truly Zen experience that can't be fully explained, but when you get there you'll know it and strive to reach it again.
WEll I am off to England on Friday and hope to ride with my brother Philip on Sunday "Day of Reckoning" followed by a trip to Singapore.
2010 Brings a new chapter in my Life! Fifty years young and still cranking those pedals as fast as I can. I used to train for the annual MS-150 in Houston but now I have gotten into cycling so much its no longer a case of the Houston MS ride, but any and every charity ride I can squeeze in the calender.
I have a twin brother on the other side of the Atlantic and cycling has become a wonderful part of our life. (In many ways we ride in memory of our father who always encouraged us in our sporting pursuits)
The blog captures the training, the rides and of course the distractions which will hopefully lead to some amusing blogs.